On Hook Grass...

Hook grass makes a worthy competitor to the despicable sandfly. It is not quite public enemy number one though because it has neither the geographic reach nor the equally devastating impact on everyone getting close to it and here's why: hook grass is a clever little plant with a devious method of spreading its seeds. The seeds, which hang on a stalk, which resembles a malformed wheat bush, have small hooks on them. These hooks attach themselves to anything with hair on them, usually attaching themselves to animals, such as deer, to fall off at a later point in time and spread this ignominious plant.

So, for those lovely ladies who shave their legs and those effeminate members of my gender, who are lucky enough not to have any hair on their legs (or are wise enough to wear gaiters), the hook grass can be safely ignored. But, if you're like me, and wonder why you're so hairy when both your parents are relatively shiny all over, hook grass becomes an enemy to be cursed over and over again, as you pull each seed out along with a tuft of your body hair.

Natural depilation, free of charge, thanks to hook grass! I am investing in some gaiters next time my friends.